I have started and stopped writing this post a few times now. The main reason, I believe, is that there's a part of me that feels like having the time to start this blog feels like a failure. I'm recently unemployed, and while I know that there were a lot of factors that led to it, I still feel I could have done better, even as I struggled to do my best. But that's one of the reasons that I started this blog. I tend to struggle with trying new things, because I always want to be the best at what I do. And the feeling that I'm not, that I'm going to fail at something, has led me to not take advantage of all sorts of opportunities in the past.So this is me trying, and possibly failing, at all sorts of things.The idea started because I wanted to learn how to costume for myself, because DragonCon is like Christmas to me, but it grew from there.I started realizing that this was a good chance for me to try new recipes, new make-up and hair ideas (because I have never been able to do these things for the life of me), maybe try a little gardening or small batch canning. I'm not expecting to be perfect with any of these attempts, because these are things I've never really learned how to do. My aunts tried to teach me how to sew when I was younger, but it didn't take. Liquid eyeliner baffles me.This blog will be about me exploring my feminine side and domestic tasks and what that means to me. That doesn't mean that I'll stop cheering on my football teams (and I'll probably whine about the Braves NLDS loss from now until April), but it also means that I still don't want a pink Falcons shirt.I realize that femininity and domesticity are not necessarily the same thing, that men can enjoy domestic tasks and that what is feminine is different for everyone. As for me, I've always liked little details of lace and ribbons, red lipstick, a tea-length skirt. I've just never known how to put it all together.My mother's mother was a stylish lady, a WAC and a professor's wife. She was an excellent cook, but didn't want to be held back by tradition. My father's mother was a housewife, also an excellent cook, and someone who managed her household, in part, by gardening and canning. My mother's mother passed away nearly twenty years ago, my father's mother's health is declining. I want to honor them both.For now, I'm going to paint my fingernails and toenails red and finally work up the courage to take the cover off the borrowed sewing machine I've been circling for a week. I don't know that I remember how to sew in a straight line, but I'm going to see what happens.Whatever does happen, I'll let you know.
